Gettin Closer

I am exhausted but honestly, I feel pretty great!!

1 week

Oy! Just one week left nearly til she is due to come. Still feeling all right though I wont lie, it is starting to get really difficult to do anything now. I thank god that this happened now and not weeks earlier. I don't know what I would have done without my freedom and mobility. Really its just small things. Contractions/hicks have started again and yesterday it was just awful. If I was moving around or bending down, anything really, I was in pain. Its getting difficult to heave my giant ass out of bed. The killer is there is still so much to do.

Today I am going to try and do a bunch of little things between potentially having visitors. Need to pack the hospital bag, start packing the diaper bag, sanitize a few little things, wash dishes, clean my bedroom (should take about ten minutes with a quick vacuum - just doing the minimum) and sort my coupons. I better get started. YUCK.

yuck

Today was probably the first day I was honestly so tired I could barely make it to where I needed to be. I have been pretty lucky during pregnancy to be able to hold my own and trek across the tundra with the best of them. But walking through Ikea today I really felt like I wanted to die. I was so tired and starting to have pains, it was nothing less than miserable.

Its hard to imagine that in two weeks I could have an infant in my arms. Its hard to believe that this journey is almost over but at the same time its hard to believe that the journey really is about to start.

There are things I wish I could have done. I wish I could have jumped on buying a home earlier than we did. I wish I had done yoga, or taken weekly pictures. I wish I had bought outfits for Em and diapers each month so I wouldn't be overwhelmed now towards the end.

I am not scared of giving birth. I don't even feel, really, like I am going to have a baby in a few weeks. I am too stressed out trying to get all of the shit done that I need to. The list doesn't stop. I think once the crib finally gets here and it is all set up, once we have everything prepared, maybe then it will be real. For now I have no fears, just stresses and I wish so badly that I could pop a pill and calm down but alas the joys of being preggers.

But its real and it is going to happen soon. Last week I was having contractions/braxtons I think and they were pretty scary. Not because they were painful (just like strong period cramps) but because they were so close. I started counting and they were 3-5 minutes apart for about an hour. They started and stopped, started and stopped and I was just in pain the next day.

Its so hard to believe that last year our life was totally different. Its hard to fathom that in just December we got an image of this little thing that looked more like a jelly bean than a human being. Its unreal that now I have this little human with such an intense personality already. A little girl who moves when dad talks to her and kicks mom when I fiddle with her foot. I am so curious to see her and find out more about her. And in two - three weeks, I will.

Happy Pops Day

In a belated post about fathers day....

I was thinking today about how lucky I am to have the husband that I do. I couldn't ask for a better person to be Emma's dad. After watching this John and Kate drama and thinking about other people I know in their failing marriages, I just have to remind myself how good of a situation I am in right now.

In September we will have been together for four years. We have had our arguments and fighting matches but every time we do it hurts. I hate fighting with him so I thank god that we don't fight with one another more than a handful of times a year. We have so much fun together and I get so sad when we are not with one another. He is the thing that gets me through the day.

He has been so great as a dad already. He asks about her when we talk at work and says hello to my belly at night when he comes home. He loves feeling her move and the expression on his face is golden when she kicks! His eyes light up and he looks at me like "holy shit I helped make that". He deals with me when I want to stop and look at baby clothes and sometimes picks out toys she might like (even though some she wont even be able to use until she is 2-3 lol). He gets so mad at me when I lay on my back and the other day he told me that he turns me over sometimes at night because I roll onto my back when I am sleeping. He cooks me meals when I have been too exhausted to cook for myself. On Sundays when he has to work overtime early and I am sleeping he will kiss me and than kiss my belly goodbye (I stir a bit cause I am such a light sleeper). Sometimes he will press his face to my belly and say "its ok Emma, you can kick daddy in the face, I don't mind" and for some reason its so cute.

I love him more than anything in this world and thank god that we found each other.

sleepy suma

The beach was everything I needed it to be and more. We took some really great pictures and I will update with some here. Things are going great baby wise. Just now I felt her moving her head back and forth under my boob and so I just pushed back at her just to be playful. Well I guess she was like "not funny mom" and the little punk gives me the biggest kick EVER on my girl parts. Thats my girl alright, a little fighter who doesn't take crap from no one. Too bad she is taking it all out on mom. =(

Otherwise things are going fine. I am starting to hurt everywhere from waist down. My hips hurt, my back hurts, I cant get up, go pee at least 5 times a night. I feel like there is a boa constrictor around my lungs when I lay a certain way, heartburn is the worst ever!

I am having brief moments of monumental panic. And there are other times, like now, when I just cant wait to hold her.

From my Babyfit.com email:
Baby sees the world through rose-colored glasses. Well, actually, through tomato-red colored glasses. Sunlight shines through your tummy into the womb, and your baby can feel the warmth and see the light.

Emma is so excited to go to the beach!! She will feel the sun and hear the sounds...

Ok well mommy is actually really excited.

Good Thoughts

We are going on vacation next week starting Saturday to OC, NJ. The most amazing thought occured to me. Emma will hear the ocean for the first time next Saturday and that made me so very happy inside.